Hello friends and photographers!
This post was in my mind for a while now, but did not find the right words to put on paper till now. I think, it's the right time to share it with you. Here is my side of hiatus:
At first it was not that bad
It hasn't been easy. It was march 2020 and I just returned from beautiful Myanmar, full of ideas and plans for the future. We had increasing number of bookings for the workshop that year, new partner for Brown bear photography, did a really great job with the observation decks, we were getting ready for summer and autumn workshops, when the Covid-19 struck. All went down south. Restrictions, no travel, everything had to be cancelled. Frankly, first two months were relaxing. We've all been very busy for the past few years and the break was necessary. After few months, there was no sight of improvement. So I said to myself - okay, I can still take some photos from my local environment - and the series of Ljubljana town at lock down photos were made. I also stayed some time in my mother's hometown area of Kočevje and took many photographs with my co-guide Vasja. Times were not that bad and I still had some photo ideas and projects.
Bad times for photography
But after new year, my mental health started to feel the effect of the lockdown. I closed my business and I was not entitled for any government help. There was no travel, no guiding, not a lot of photography jobs. The money was running short and still no one know how long it will last. I had to think twice even when refueling the car or choose the idea for the trip. Did some portrait jobs and local photo classes but that covered just my main expenses. And indicated, that I have to find another income. So I started the search, send application after application and was successful. I got an office job, suited to my education. And the life of an office worker started.
No energy, no enthusiasm
Working 8-4 job, with overtime much of the time, I was able to gain the money. But not happiness. The weekends were more a much needed rest to return to the office on Monday. The office work was dull, but at least I liked the coworkers. The living costs in Ljubljana started to rise, the rental went up. With Leni, we were on the hunt for a small cottage house for the last 5 years, but the prices went nuts. On weekends, it happened that I carried my f-stop camera bag for the hikes in Slovenia and Italy, but didn't even take a shot. We didn't go for the sunrises, nor sunsets. Some boring, middle day photos of the still beautiful surroundings but really nothing special or some events I covered as a job. I did not publish a new landscape photo on my social media for 4 months in the first half 2021. No ideas, no passion. The camera was in the bag and all the photos were taken by my phone. I was stuck in the office and had almost no energy for the hobbies.
After summer, I started to watch the vlogs of Bruno Pisani, who inspired me for some sunset hikes in the mountains. And it started rolling again. I had two interviews with the talented Ausma for her youtube channel and Ruth on behalf of Kase Filters. It gave me a kick in to start to think about photographic projects again. And some were successful. Revisiting the famous locations in Slovenia and response on the social media got me the boost I needed. But something was different. It never lasted long.
Getting better and starting photography again
Was a long process. We finally bought a cottage and moved from Ljubljana. All the extra time next to the office job was spent for arrangements. At first, I had an idea to make a chronological documentation of the renovation, but I literally took 3 photos. Another three months without the camera. My social media was living from the archive. And even for that I had to take extra time. My laptop became super slow, and I was struggling with the post-processing stages of photography. But after moving in, I had to at least document the surrounding area. Some photos were made, after that, camera went to the bag again for a couple of months. It was about ups and downs. My mind process was having such mix feeling, that is difficult to describe.
In May 2022 I quit the office job, it become unbearable. I started to guide again and the photos came back. Still, not so passionate than in the past, where, even if I was not on a photography tour, I woke up early and went for the sunrise no matter if there was a full day of work ahead.
But we revisited Dolomites, and prepared a good program for 2024 and 2025. We traveled to Georgia, Spain, Scotland and I revisited Iceland in focus for potential future tours and workshops. And to my relief, we did some fine photographs. The brown bear photography started to become a bestseller. We upgraded the photography gear, which was not a priority in the last years. We plan our future workshops with the new passion. And it's all slowly coming back. Thankfully.
I plan to talk about the mental part of hiatus on the part 2. And will be happy to get some responses.
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